Friday, not the 13th

    Wow, what a day...  I don't know what has gotten into these kids lately, but three kids in very bad moods, for whatever reason, makes for a really long, stressful, exhausting day.  It's like Jekyl and Hyde, angel and demon, Cane and Abel, Batman and the Joker.  My precious angels are smiley, happy little things one second, and the next they're weeping and hitting me, yet clawing to be picked up.
     Two little twin birds woke me bright and early at 6 a.m., the official start of the day (though, it should be noted that Kelsey and Sierra had chirped from 9:30 to 11:15 the night before, and Quinn came into our bedroom three times after that - I put him back into his room at 11:55 p.m. and 1:15 a.m., and then at some point after that, he successfully settled at the bottom of our bed without us noticing, where he stayed until morning).  I stumbled into the twins' bedroom in the morning, hoping it was just one baby, but alas, both babies stood at once, cried Mama and reached for me frantically, each wanting to be the first to be picked up.  Since it was so early, I took them into Quinn's empty room, so they wouldn't wake everyone else and because, honestly, I just wanted to lay down a little while longer.  They fussed and jockeyed for the position closest to me, rolling constantly, not at all restful.  Eventually, Doug came over around 6:30 a.m., the four of us in the twin bed in Quinn's little room, while ironically, Quinn slept, alone, in the queen bed in our master bedroom. 
     I brought the girls downstairs at 6:45 a.m., let them rip the bathroom apart in seconds just so I could use the facilities, and we hurried out to the kitchen to get breakfast set up and served.  I was able to distract Kelsey with a book (to look at on her own, of course), but Sierra would not stay down, so I had to hold her in my left arm.  I started to cut the grapes in half and stuffed them into the beaks of each chirping baby girl.  Sierra gave part of it back to me, and I realized these were not seedless grapes - seriously, why do they even sell grapes with seeds?  I'm so distracted at the store, apparently I assumed that I was buying the regular seedless variety to feed my children; what good is a grape with seeds in the middle of that tiny little thing?  Anyway, so I had to cut the top half of the grape off, dig out the seed in the lower half, and feed that half to them; multiply this by about 50, in order to get enough grapes for all three kids.  Thankfully, both girls let me place them into their high chairs to eat their first round of de-seeded grapes and a sprinkling of cheerios, while I get Quinn's oatmeal prepped, the girls baby oatmeals made, my own cereal poured, three sippy cups of milks poured, and sat down to feed the girls.  Of course the second I sit down, both girls start fussing and again, frantically start reaching for me, wanting to be held and fed in my arms instead.  And they're so sweet - once I pick one of them up, she wraps her little hands around my neck and smiles a winning grin and says lovingly "Mama", often placing each of her hands on my cheeks and planting a kiss on me with an exaggerated 'mmmmaaaa' sound, sometimes shooting a glance in her sisters direction.  This morning it was Sierra's turn, because, well, she was more forceful and crying louder.  She dodged her oatmeal almost every bite along the way, while Kelsey attempted to stand up in her highchair, smiled knowingly at me, waiting to see what my reaction will be.  Quinn comes down at 7:15, gruff voice, wiping the sleep from his eyes.  He sees his oatmeal and whines that he hasn't had his grapes yet, why does he have to have oatmeal already...  I told him to eat the grapes while his oatmeal cools, and thankfully, that was sufficient.  I continued to try to feed the girls, Kelsey bobbing up and down in her seat, though she finishes her bowl, while Sierra continues to fuss and push the spoon away, spilling it, getting it on her sleeve...  Doug tried to hold one girl or the other, but they are very "All Mommy, all the time" these days.  Quinn finally comes to the table to join us.  My babies, three little faces that I love to stare at, watching all their little expressions, see them figuring things out and learning and feeling.  Unfortunately today, those little expressions were those of anger and upset, sadness and discontent.
       Quinn - well, being 4 is not easy, and I know there is a certain amount of testing and antics that he is just supposed to do as a 4 year old.  But, oh, the whining and the crying, and that way he grits his teeth and drool pours out of the corners of his mouth when he becomes upset about something, usually in a forced, fake way.  We had a super-sized playdate today; three other boys, another little girl, plus Quinn and his sisters, three Mom's.  It was very nice, and the kids even got along pretty well for the most part, but as soon as they left, he was whining and throwing toys and very out of sorts.  I know transition is a hard thing, but I was also holding two screaming babies, so it was hard to get down on his level to calm him, when the girls were escalating the situation.  I was able to lure him inside with the promise of Thomas and Friends coming on, which worked, and it even distracted Kelsey for a minute so I could get lunch onto the table.  The girls both cried and cried, all through forced bites of yogurt for lunch; they'd had tons of crackers and cantaloupe, so I knew they weren't terribly hungry, so I called it and put them down for their naps (more on that later).  After lunch, I cleaned up from lunch and the playdate, and Quinn and I built a lincoln log cabin.  We were having a nice little playdate of our own when he suddenly kicked over the cabin and yelled something about not liking that I put a part of the roof on...  I reprimanded him, of course, but tried to switch to a new activity, to diffuse the situation.  He lost the first round of "Go Fish", and threw the cards at me...  That resulted in a time-out, through which he cried and cried.  After that, I felt maybe he needed to just lay and relax, since he doesn't nap anymore, so I put on a show for him to watch while lying on the couch. 
                    Throughout the day, he was emotional and whiney and weepy, wouldn't listen or do as he was told, kept being rough with his sisters... I felt like a broken record, constantly saying "leave her alone", "put that down", "get your underpants off your head"...  I just want to be a fun Mom, I hate having to reprimand!  Finally, after forcing him through a bath, three rounds of "Go Fish" (which I let him win because I couldn't deal with another meltdown), and looking at the Planets on my iPhone, he was finally asleep; mouth open, drooling and dreaming, hugging his stuffed zebra.
         Sierra - She had a random fever back on Tuesday, for no apparent reason.  I could tell that her last four teeth were coming in and thought that might be bothering her.  She woke up crying and cried almost non-stop all day.  She had a few moments of independent play, but she spent most of her day either in my arms or reaching up my legs trying to climb up into my arms.  Several times, her sister thought this was a good idea, too, and followed suit, so I had two babies in my arms instead of just one (often, pushing each other to be alone with me, or trying to steal each others blankies).  After the playdate, after my normally eager eater refused lunch, I was getting her ready for nap, only to find that she had a raging diaper rash, and a rash all over her chest and stomach...  Sierra gets rashs frequently; a couple weeks ago, she had a fever and rash that lasted a week, but after extensive testing at the hospital, it was thought to just be viral and it eventually went away.  But still, I see a pimply rash on my baby and I can't help but be worried.  She gets up from her nap and is fussy and pushy and won't let me put her down.  Both girls briefly sit in their highchairs to finish their yogurt from lunch and eat a snack, but as soon as she's had her fill, back to my arms she goes. 
                     We play outside, but other than the swing and a few minutes here and there of playing on her own, she has to be in my arms.  And it's not just fussiness, it's fierce, pissed off fits of crying and full-body clenching.  I know she doesn't feel good, and I feel so helpless, but it's really hard to listen to such a cry and not feel my nerves clenching, too, and my heart race.  Thankfully my husband, Doug, got home early and was able to help to divide and conquer, mainly by keeping Kelsey and Quinn occupied while I held Sierra.  Sierra barely sat still for any dinner, had only a bit more to eat, before demanding to be out of her seat and back to my arms, and then the floor. 
                       I raced Sierra and then Kelsey through separate baths and got them down to bed.  Phew...
          Kelsey - Poor, sweet Kelsey.  She always wakes up crying.  I've still not figured out whether it's because something is wrong or is hurting her, or she has already learned that she has to fight for attention, and what better way to do it than to cry!  But her cry is usually a soft, sweet, babyish testing sort of cry. 
                   Yesterday afternoon, I brought the kids inside from playing at the playground for a long time, and Kelsey had tons of gunk coming out of her eyes.  Quinn had had the same thing several weeks ago; no pink in their eyes, just teary and yellowy gunk coming out.  Quinn had used drops for pink-eye which cleared it up in days, but there is no way Kelsey will sit remotely still for me to drop liquid into her eyes.  So, we're just waiting it out, but in the meantime, she's not a happy camper.  She isn't sleeping well and gets up wicked early, and because of that, by lunchtime, she's not into eating, and nearly falls asleep in her chair.  I put both girls down by 12:30 today, because they just couldn't stand it anymore, and neither can I.  Hopefully it clears up soon.
            By the end of the day, after pushing through so much fussiness, hurrying through three baths, getting three sleepy-heads up to fall upon their pillows, in their little beds...  I can finally settle down myself (after cleaning and tidying up, of course).  I know they must not be feeling very well, whether from being sick or just growing pains, and I really try to keep my cool and stay patient and loving, but by the end of that kind of day, I'm all out of patience and am anything but cool, though after only a few minutes of quiet, my love for them floods back in, and I can smile and remember the good times of the day, not just the bad - all the smiles, the laughs, watching them chase each other joyfully around the yard, the sounds of each of their individual voices and the way they sound when they're all singing together.  That's what I want to remember, especially in the difficult times of any day, so I can be a better Mommy for them.